Clair's New Friend

Clair met this charming monstrosity in Japan the other day. Here's a rather humerous extract from a mail i got off her recently:

"I was reading this on my phone on the way home from work, but I didn't reply because I was so nervous that I was on the wrong train. It had a sign on it that wasn't a place name on any of the station lists. I asked someone "Yokohama desu?" meaning " Is Yokohama for I am a foreign r'tard that knows not how to read or speak Japanese?" The latter part was just implied. He said "hai" but I didn't believe him so I was really worried where I might end up. At one stop along the way, I asked a neighbour "Kore wa dokko desu ka?" which translates as " Where is here for I am a foreign r'tard but who is proud of being able to say even this little bit in Japanese?" In this case, the middle part is implied in the speech and the latter part is implied in this email. She told me and I recognised that as a place along the way to Yokohama. But I was still bloody relieved when we actually did pull into Yokohama."